I AM 1/10th OF A LAWYER

It feels awesome to be back, I know its been quite some time and as I replied to a kind commenter that college has been sucking the life out of me, well I now realise that that was bit of an overstatement. Now that I sit to reflect on the past four and a half months that I spent as my first semester, I realise that life wasn’t all that bad. We have a course of 5 years spanning over 10 semesters, and just, yesterday, well it is past 12 so technically day before yesterday, I gave my last exam for this sem. We have five subjects every semester and there is always a change every six months. This time we had Legal Methods, which is kind of an introductory course, History of Legal and Constitutional Development of India (HLCD), Political Science (Pol), Law of Torts and English. Legal Methods was easy to understand but I don’t know if that teacher has something against students, she just isn’t ready to give marks. But it was fun, we learnt lots of interesting stuff and especially, how our language makes a huge difference in expression. God, HLCD, I will seriously cry thinking about it. The teacher is well educated and from this really big ass college, but boy, is she condescending, you feel so worthless in her class. Now that I think of it, I might top the class in other subjects but HLCD doesn’t give me really high hopes, even for passing. Ah I don’t want to talk about it.

Pol Science, was awesome, I did not get a word of it, well ok no I did, but the point is that sometimes our teacher used to come to class excessively happy and then we never understood what he was teaching that day, which I believe has affected one of my teachers of Torts, they have the same office. As in the same space is divided into two and the happiness emanating from Pol teacher’s side creates a certain mental imbalance in our Torts teacher’s brain. Also for my Pol teacher I have a theory. He is well read, I agree but then he has this habit of putting words like ‘normative’, ‘conceptual’, ‘meta-physical’ (and here I thought that I left physics) wherever possible. Now the theory is based on constant empirical observations, that he chooses a word out of his chest of ‘highly fancy sounding words that blow the living daylights out of the kids’ and that becomes his word for the day and he repeats that word in every line he speaks, I don’t know is that some legitimacy seeking trick??  We have two torts teacher, the previous one is a guy and the other is lady, who has become somewhat of a mystery to me. I take in pride in being able to recognise people’s accents and tell them from which place they are, but her accent has just perplexed me, because she talks as if she is from Kerala and as it turns out she is from Punjab, for those who don’t know they are in opposite directions on the map and separated by a huge distance. And her sense of humour, we  were doing this case in which the doctors did not administer the right dose of anesthesia and thus while fixing the patient’s leg, he couldn’t bear the pain and died. She kept laughing about the case as if it was a joke and not something in which a person actually died. I was just speechless.

English taught by that God forsaken teacher, I could dedicate an entire post to his narcissism. Oh no wait we came up with this word that reflects that level of self obsession required to reach that of our English teacher, had I not decided not to reveal names, I would have told you the word, but I suppose you get the drift. He thinks he is some god sent angel to revive moral characters in students and people in general. He tells college children to walk in a line WALK IN A LINE????!!!!!! Are we in nursery and oh and he says that he doesn’t know why nursery schools have stopped teaching manners to children and he thinks that he will have to teach us guys some. The level of frustration my entire nervous system shoots up to when he opens his mouth is beyond cloud nine. He thinks he is too cool for himself, tries to to access our online attendance on his phone because the e-station may have viruses and then when he takes it, he will always remind us that he remembered the entire batch’s roll call list last year and then because he is too busy talking to us about how great he is, he will mess up the attendance and thus we end up repeating the entire roll call. And the way he walks,it is practically like this, he takes out the right foot and drags the left foot too it and no there is no damage to his leg. I will have to stop myself from writing something that is an anti-my english teacher propaganda, but I shall tell you a one liner that he said in the class, see he thinks he is really smart, witty and funny, “I just saw an assassination attempt………..an assassination attempt of a mosquito” while someone was trying to kill a mosquito.

Apart from this there were a lot of talks that happened, which were on particularly interesting topics but it was a very few times that the speakers made sense hmmm…. no quite a few made sense may be I was dumb , not to get it. We also ran a Anti Sexual Harassment movement, supported the Kiss of Love movement and the Gay Pride day parade and then we also did a play, actually four of them but I was in one: Antigone, by Sophocles and guess my role, yes I was Antigone. Well this was another thing our Eng teacher organised, followed by a pointless poem recitation, those who stayed told me the stories of their horrors from that night, they still haunt them, no no stop.

I realised the shift from science to law pretty clearly, it is a bit vague but that vagueness is quite fun to dabble with and well please pray that I pass in history and the next sem will if not worse be better than this.

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