DEAR AUNTIES OF THE METRO TRAINS……………………………..

To,
Dear Aunties,
Metro Trains,
Delhi Metro,

If you don’t feel offended by me calling you aunty then we can focus on a few issues that I have come across in the metro trains, to my discomfort and possibly to your chagrin. The issues that I would like to highlight have been deeply and keenly observed by me over a considerable period of time and I can assure you that these are not at all unfounded. First, if you know you have to travel in the metro, I never get the point of wearing heavy sarees in the metro, I seriously don’t. It is excusable when one has to go to a wedding or a function but wearing clothes that are bound to slow you down in the metro is just pointless. Next, STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE!!! They make that line to protect you not themselves. Please learn to stay behind it because if you fall over, well lets just leave it there. They even make announcements for that too and I am sure people who run something as efficient as the metro are not crazy. Thirdly, STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE EVEN IF THE TRAIN IS ABOUT TO STOP!!! I never understand why do you have this instinct of moving that half an inch forward as if that half inch will get you inside the train first. In the previous point you could fall over but here you your face could just stick to the metro. Fourthly, if you don’t get a seat, the world will not come to an end. Everytime, the ladies push you as if, if they get a seat inside the metro they will have conquered the world. A batchmate of mine who is from Bangalore hadn’t travelled in the metro so we decided to take him for a ride and he the poor mannered child ill-versed in the ways and means of the metro was standing at the door when it opened and an auntie started to inch ahead of him so he let her go forward first but he did not know that he had opened the floodgates because we had to forcefully pull him in over the sea of people he had unwittingly let go before him. Please there are older ladies than you who are standing in the metro and you rather prefer to talk to them about how pathetic and shameless the younger generation is because not even one is ready to vacate their seats. Or you know the urge to get to a seat can be better described as the way women stand outside stores that have declared a sale and the doors to infinite bliss of shopping are just about to open. Fifthly, probably this is what irritates me the most. The longer seats in the trains have 6 seats but because they are joined together women thing, they could just ask other women to just scooch over. That for me is particularly uncivilised. How can you ask someone to move to create some space so that you can squeeze in your ass. The funnier part is that the women could be almost falling off but NO, they cannot relinquish their seats as if it is against some religious tenets. Oh and the loud talking on the phone. Why do you have to tell what you have cooked at your home to everyone in the metro, please only tell it to the person you are talking to. I always lose my concentration while reading something. Reading is a slightly intellectually stimulating and hence requires a bit of focus you see. And it is a joy ride when a long lost friend or a relative has called or you want to dictate how to cook something. My worst nightmares aren’t as bad as that and I have had my full of those.

I have after a careful thought tendered this letter to your consideration. I hope you will take some action.

Sincerely,
A discomforted Metro Traveller

PERKS OF INTERNING: COURT VISITS

Well now that I have become 1/10th of a lawyer, I thought why not give, what these people call courts, a visit. But first things first, my results came about a few days ago and guess what I passed, even that sucky subject called History of Legal and Constitutional Development. Even though I got the highest grade in all others and the lowest in HLCD but whatever I passed. But before our college broke for winter break of one and a half month, after exams, I started applying to NGOs to intern there and got in one of the fancier places called HRLN, Human Resources Law Network. This place, as the name suggests, is a place for fighting against any injustices done to those who cannot defend themselves in a legal suit. Now this place has a selection process and that is what makes it fancy, we have to fill forms and send write ups and all the other shizz. Now, I got in, that is not the part that matters but the fact that during my internship, I got to go to court, both, the Delhi High Court and the Supreme Court of India!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For two really important cases, believe me. Wait; first let me tell you the hierarchy. If you have a criminal suit or for that matter civil matters, you first file in a court that will be at the district level, then appeal to the court at the state level called the High Court and then from there after obtaining a certificate for appeal you appeal to the Supreme Court. But if fundamental rights are violated, one can appeal directly to the High Court or the Supreme Court invoking what is called writ jurisdiction of these courts.

I first went to the High Court, in a matter regarding pricing of medicines and an order that was given by a national level body dealing with pricing of drugs and medicines. This was a sudden decision, I wasn’t even dressed to go to the court, interns and lawyers are supposed to wear black and white formals and I was dressed in a hoodie and jeans, imagine! But I actually went because I thought that now that I had done some research one the case, I’ll actually understand what was going on. So I went with my supervisor to the Delhi High Court. I first had to stand in this 1 km long Ladies’ Line for getting my interns entry pass made. For that you have to have a slip from your supervisor and college ID. When my turn finally came, the women gasped, seriously, “What have you given me??” and I was like, “This is what they gave me, I don’t know” and she sent me off to this important looking lady asking me show the slip to her but then I thought what could be the problem, turns out I had attached a receipt from previous day for ‘A donation of ₹1000’, I quickly ran back with the correct slip and got my pass made. In my defence the receipt and the slip were of the same size.

Then I entered this huge complex called Building A and as I entered I saw this swarm of lawyers wearing the black cloaks that one has to wear while arguing in court and I practically was flustered.  I had to go to court room 7 which took me like a million years to find. We were item 16 and as I entered, item 10 was going on. And that is when all my notions of the court, that one forms by watching movies and TV shows were neatly beaten to bits. Item 10 took 20mins, Item 11 took merely 3, Item 12 took 5, Item 13 took 6, Item 14 took 19 and Item 15 took 16mins. In most cases they just made a motion for adjournment, hence the short timings. Item 13 had this guy with that short Shah Rukh Khan pony and he stood with his juniors who for some reason looked exactly similar to me. All of them were hunching because, well the judge did speak as if speaking to himself In Item 15, there was a bald lawyer who kept laughing at what the judge was saying. Then Came our turn, I moved towards the front chairs and the other side came, it was as if the entire room was standing on both sides, the room felt charged and one could feel that the case was going to be awesome. The opposing lawyer spoke “Your Excellency………………………………………………..Please grant us an adjournment”. What the heck! I just got out of the room and started a tour of the court as if I was on a school trip to a museum. I also did one silly thing; I went to an ATM and got a mini statement because it said Branch: Delhi High Court.

Talking about the Supreme Court, frankly it took me some time to get over the fact that I was standing in the premises of the highest judicial authority in the country. There we just kept going here and there because our matter was at 4 in the evening at we came at 10 in the morning. We saw quite a few great and known lawyers like Prashant Bhushan, P. Chidambaram, Salman Khurshid, Pinky Anand and others and attended cases ranging from Article 66-A of the Information Technology Act to killing of a Civil Servant in Manipur. And frankly when our matter actually came, we were so tired that we slept through it. You see the Supreme Court is a huge ass complex, so you have to walk a lot to go from one court room to another and this time we were even dressed properly so you know, I couldn’t help dozing off. OK OK Sorry! It was fun because well I had never been to these places and the cases were to some extent interesting.