I AM 2/10th OF A LAWYER

Huh! Another semester got over and 20% of my law school education is over. Two semesters done or my entire first year is over, I am not a fresher anymore :(. But I will have juniors now hehehehehahaha…… No I vow to be the best senior ever, one to which juniors can look up to and ask whatever questions they have without having any fear. But that is all in the future, let’s talk about the semester that just went by. My results aren’t out yet but I think I will pass. You never know in our college, you can sweat your ass off but it all depends on how the teacher feels when they look at your paper, believe me I have seen that through my mid semesters. So I had had 5 subjects Contracts-I, English-II, Political Science-II, Criminal Law-I and Law of Torts-II.

Contracts was about the Indian Contract Act, 1872 and 2 sections of Specific Relief Act, 1963; Section 10 and Section 14 to be precise. English-II, I never really understood the point of it, business communication….. I know I am studying in the college to be a lawyer and communication plays an important role but I really don’t understand how understanding differences in communication due to culture is going to help me plead my case better unless I am trying someone under Section 499 of the IPC which is about defamation but I guess I can work around that. Criminal Law was the one class that I really enjoyed, it wasn’t spectacular but it wasn’t drop dead boring either. Torts……. TORTS, I think I lost a part of my soul because of this subject, I will explain that as we go. Political Science, we all love our Pol Sci teacher, I think we will actually miss his classes, but this year the syllabus was too much that I think I had a breakdown while learning the whole of it for my end sems.

Now lets dissect each one of them. Contracts, I can swear on all my gods that I never paid attention in his class, barring may be a few days when say I forgot my phone in my room or battery was running low or maybe I had had a divine intervention and I thought, no, I should pay attention in Contracts. I am sorry, but it is physically impossible to do that and emotionally painful. I am not kidding. We had two teachers. The male teacher has this odd habit of saying wakey-wakey when he enters the class. Are we in freaking II grade that we need to be told that. The other one was all the more fantastic, she came in and just started, as if, if she doesn’t do that she will not remember what she has to teach. And she can talk without a break. I don’t know how she does that. This was a deadly combo because basically I have given my exams on my understanding if my textbooks. Because even if you pay attention, I don’t really know what they talk about probably because it is connected to the previous class or whatever, but I really don’t think I can help anyone with their contracts problems.

English is supposed to be my bitch but this semester, I literally cried for half an hour before I actually started learning because I just didn’t know why I was doing whatever I was doing. Business communication lessons is something that are taken up as , you know, by speakers to help motivate kids. You can’t mark people on their knowledge of that. I mean we were supposed to learn stuff like what are the ways to resolve conflict and what are the steps for same for an English exam. Why Why ???? But I had fun with the plays this time, if you remember what I wrote about directing Pygmalion this semester, the only time when I felt I was doing something related to English, you know, the whole concept of expressing yourself. I really did not like this semester’s syllabus for English, last time was fun. This time the syllabus was just plain simple weird.

Criminal, again, I did no have a lot of qualms about. Nice teachers cleared my concepts and the classes were fun to attend. The Criminal law class was one of those you wanted to attend. But there is one thing that happened in the Criminal Law class that I think we all will remember for eternity. So you know how attendances are to be taken everyday. It was another day when our attendance was to be taken. We had two teachers this semester. One was a Masters and the other was a PhD. Our main teacher, lets call him TA was obviously the one with the PhD and the Masters one was the ancillary teacher, lets call him TB. Now TB was going to take the attendance that day and he thought that he will be ingenious and started going to every seat and asked the students for their roll numbers and marked them on his sheet. Our main teacher, TA came running, snatched, I repeat, snatched the sheet from his hand, went to the mike in the class and started taking the attendance roll number wise, but before he did remark that TB was wasting the class of the time. We all looked at each other dumb founded…..

Political Science was damning this time. We studied International relations this semester. Man realism, Neo-Realism, Liberalism, Neo-Liberalism , Feminism, Marxist Approach and what not. these are the major schools that I am talking about, there were many minor ones that came along the way. The syllabus was too much. I think I cried a bit while trying to learn all of it. It was physically impossible to learn all of it. Oh wait I don’t think I have told you but we sit for all our exams at one go, as in, one in a day. So basically for one exam we have 21 hrs to learn everything. We obviously start learning a few weeks in advance but you still have to revise whole of it in one go. And the best thing (sarcasm) our exam department did this time was change our exam slot from 9 to 12 to 2 to 5 in the afternoon, for crying out loud, it is scientifically proven to be the least productive time of the day. We tried our level best to get it changed. But it was the exam department and that to of a government college, we knew it was a lost battle when we started out but it felt good that we did not let go without a fight.

Talking about the exam department reminded of another beautiful blunder they committed. So we have to sit for a 50 marker for our end semesters, we get our question papers and they are for drumroll please…………….. 70 marks yes 70 and we were going to get the same time for it that is 3 hours because our precious teachers could not stay after their payday got over at 5. Our invigilators told us to read our papers after we pointed this error out and thus for 15 minutes we were just reading the papers waiting for further directive from the concerned teacher or department. The teacher came, he saw and he said “There will be no changes”… We just laughed for a few minutes actually waiting for him to tell us the truth. But when he did not budge, we inquired about extra time and he said that no extra time will be given and when we said that we have been waiting for the past 15 minutes, he plain and simple said that we shouldn’t have done that. Height of indifference.

Last and definitely the least TORTS, I never thought I could hate a person that much, my Torts teacher. I have contemplated killing her…… literally, going to her office in the tea-break with an over sweet cup of coffee mixed with rat poison and watch her drink it and the slowly choke. I know morbid but please just sit in her class and then decide. She is a pigeon, you know how you always consider them to be dumb and they have the annoying habit of shaking their neck front and back and they make that sound ‘hoo’. Just imagine the human form of a pigeon, that is our torts teacher. It was maddeningly irritating to ask her a question. She had standard responses- “I have taught this already”, “You were not paying attention, I have taught this already”, “I have taught this, now the class will give the answer” and after saying any one of these, she would shake her neck like a pigeon and make the sound “hmm” again and again and again and again and again and then when we thought she was done, she would yet again make the sound. Now if she would have genuinely taught it what was the big deal, no she didn’t teach…… she had this notion that she has taught and imagined us to understand everything. The thing is she will mention a word somewhere in a sentence and will expect us to know what it meant and the whole of history, geography and demographics. She has some serious communication issues. She forms a certain impression of where she wants the conversation to go and then when you try to talk to her, she will just hear the words that will take her idea of the conversation forward, even if what you are trying to say is exactly the opposite. She did not give us the freaking syllabus for the exam ย because she did not want us take her classes lightly. We asked her for the syllabus on the second last day… when were her classes going to held after that and not this tactic will make us pay attention. Not that we were totally irreverent of her or anything but I don’t know what enmity does she have with us. ย The worst part, she made us study Consumer Protection for the entire semester and then suddenly started stuffing in other torts topics like nervous shock, false imprisonment etc etc. We did all of these topics in 3 weeks where she gave us pages and pages of readings. As I said I think I did lose a part of my soul.

These were my subjects, there were a lot of things as well like our college fest, we had Abish Matthew and Advaita. And then sports fest which was inter batch. I played volleyball after such a long time, it was so much fun . But when the seniors saw me serve the ball, one of them literally went, “you know we are not letting you take up any other thing nest year, don’t you?”, I felt elated. That feeling that you still have it in yourself. Because it has been close to 3 years since I played a proper game but still when I get to the ground that adrenaline rush is still the same and the single point focus on the ball… wish I could do that in contracts haha.

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29 thoughts on “I AM 2/10th OF A LAWYER

  1. Lol!! Congratulations!! You sound like you managed to do a fantastic job of the first year!! My lawyer friends tell me it keeps getting better. There’s more to debate about, dissect and rant… looking forward to all of it!

  2. Oh God!!! All of this is soooo true!!!! And you have made some really good observations about our Contracts class ๐Ÿ˜›

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